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Sleazy Hustlers Make Me Hot!

When Hustlers Come Calling, Hold Onto Your Wallet, Sucker


hustlers, hustler, huslter, huslters, pool hustler, pool hustlers, sleazy


Photo courtesy Asian Dream Award

Hustlers, Hustlers! So Hot!

Can't live with 'em, would like to live without 'em... And hustlers at the table are an unfriendly bunch.

What happened to the goold old hustlers--you know the kind? They drank and slobbered on you, smoked cheap cigarettes in your face, taunted you into playing games at bad odds.

...Now they will barely tell you a few hustlers' jokes before smashing their pool cues over your head, demanding their money, the miserable curs. And that's just the chicks!

Now, I know some pretty good hustlers, let me tell you, pal. These are the kind who will walk into a strange room and offer you any amount of money you'd like to play for per game of 9-Ball. You can make the cash, they say, scoring any of the balls of the rack at any time, and not just the nine ball. "All they want" is the break shot.

That translates to they break a ball in immediately with their first stroke, probably and end ball in the corner, and if they can't get out they play you a lock safe or play safe right off the break to begin. They say "bye-bye" to your cue ball and you soon say "bye-bye" to your cash.

Another hustlers' move "from the old school" is to bet you anything you want on a seven or eight rail stroke that they can make the cue ball come to rest in a six-inch circle, two out of three times.

Little does the mark (the hustler's sucker, the dupe) realize that as each cushion takes off about 30% of force from each bounce, after touching just six cushions the ball retains just about 10% of its original speed and after eight cushions, about 5%, and its landing destination can be calculated very precisely. A six-inch circle might as well be an airport runaway for me or anyone else who knows one of these around the table shots. Of course, they can make it three of three times and the hustling comes in by missing one of the shots at just the right time.

Become Hustlers In Your Fantasies Or Real Life

Say, here's a shot you can hustle your pals with (don't get a stick smashed over your head!):

The "Three Go Down" Shot

...and another, called "The Never Missed Bank Shot", and one of my favorites, the "Stack The Rack Fab-u-lous Pool Trick Shot".

If you want to smell, feel and know hustlers, you've heard nothing until you've checked in on Walter Tevis' The Hustler. This classic book lets you "live the dream" of sleeping in doorways and poolrooms, getting your thumbs broken, and "dumping" for a great game for cash. Hero "Fast Eddie" Felson makes his mark, however (pun intended) in two Tevis books and two classic pool movies including The Color of Money.

Hustlers Go Down

Let's face it, the old class of hustlers have gone down, having moved on for better times and the hustlers pastures up in the sky (or under the ground). They just don't hustle like they used to. What happened to the "good old days" when all the No Gambling! signs were ignored at your local poolroom? But we still can't get youth to shoot pool today. Sigh.

Hustlers, Their Lives And Their Loves

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